Afdal Musyrif Arfan ~ Ahfang (The Protector of the Learned One)

Mr. Sebab (excuses excuses)

Before I begin to tell you about my second son, let me begin by explaining the meaning behind his Arabic name. 

My mother-in-law once quipped that my son's name is too "keras" or hard as it has two 'R's in his name. I based my sons names on Chinese where they put their surname at the front (the Koreans as well) - the Chinese have been Muslims earlier than the Malays if one were to argue.

Well, back to Arfan or Ah fang as he addressed himself when he was two years plus.  

Musyrif was based on Pakistan's then President (General) Pervez Musharraf who planned the coup d'etat of President Nawaz Shariff when Musharraf was the Pakistan Army's Chief of Staff. Musyrif means Protector in Arabic, and Arfan means intelligent.  The name Arfan was to be different from Irfan, or so I thought.

Hence after careful consideration, I named him Afdal Musyrif Arfan - protector of the learned one. And that is the boy's name I received at Putrajaya Hospital on 21 February. He was bigger than his elder brother at 3.5kg and when he was wrapped by the nurse, he stared at me as if in protest - "Why did you take me out from mama?"



Some people say, the second born as the "second child syndrome" - he or she will get second hand goods or the used stuff, he'll get a new one maybe on his birthdays. He has to compete for his parent's attention as the eldest one had the privilege as being the ONLY one for a few months or years. When he gets a kid sister or brother - he has to compete again with them.

My father is the second child in his family, and he admitted that he had to prove hard to his father that he'll be the proud son his father ever had. Sometimes I see it that he craves to see his father say "I'm proud of you, son."



Arfan - the boy who 'protested' to his papa, ten months later 



Arfan is the grandson that my late mother had the chance to care and nurture for, as I was living with her before my posting to the US. We stayed with her for almost a year and a half. My mother always had close attachment to her eldest grandchild, Nur Almaz as she took care of her when her parents were away in the States. 

Arfan had the same situation when my wife and I were working, Ilhan would go to school and Arfan will stay with his poh poh during the day.

Before my mother passed on in August 2008, and after a few months settling in America, she sent a text message in May of the same year: "Afdal, I must see Arfan before I die." I called her immediately to check if she was okay. She said she misses Arfan and would like to see him. She always had a picture of him as shown above and would boast to her friends that this is Arfan who is in Washington, D.C. with his dad.

Arfan at 11 months

Arfan celebrated his fifth birthday a week after mine. He is witty, has the same nema problema "no problem" attitude like me, likes to make his brothers mad or angry for his intelligent strategy e.g. wakes up early to control the TV channel, iPad and have the chocolates earlier or finishes them off.

He is a classic example of "Marry a man, only if you are proud to have a son exactly like him." 

He is the only son who likes to go back to Johor Bahru rather than Alor Setar and he has this love-hate relationship with his cousin Kakak Mash (Almaz).

He has four stitches on his head alone - three in the States, one in Kajang - I know he'll be a trouble maker, but for now I'll enjoy his boyhood years and hope that if he gets into trouble, just don't get caught.

Hehe...

Poh poh's Boy